Me vs. Future Me
I see weight loss as war, a constant battle between my current self and my future self.
The current me is gung-ho, determined to shed these pounds, to release that beautiful thin girl inside. Today's me is going to walk her three quarters of a mile and skip the candy bar snack today.
Future me, she's another girl. She'll be sitting at her computer sometime next month, next week, maybe even this evening, and she'll be craving a bag of Reese's pieces. Future me will think about how easy it would be to just drive over to Meijer and buy some cookies or ice cream, just this once. Or she'll decided she's not going to walk today because she just doesn't feel like it.
How do I control that bitch?
Weight loss is a constant battle between these two halves of myself. There's part of me that wants the instant gratification of candy and rest, but there's another part of me that sees the greater satisfaction I can achieve by delaying my immediate desires.
I suppose this is what discipline is, learning how to wrestle these two halves of myself so the long-term goal girl comes out on top. Hmmm, that imagery came out kind of erotic.
Earlier: Always the Fat GIrl
Later: Week 1: Status and Goals
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Posted by PastaQueen on August 8, 2004 at 11:17 AM
Reading this so long after you first wrote the post, I can't help but relate to your struggle. There are two halves of all of that are overweight, I think. But the funny thing for me was that you've titled your blog "Half Of Me." And this post, about the fat half and the wants-to-be-thin half battling it out here. And you said, "How do I control that bitch?" I couldn't help but think that you've just got to lose her, (LOL) because she's not good for you. Losing the fat half, both literally and figuratively seems the only way to really let the thin side of you shine.
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I think the thing to do is to not think about future you. If you do think about future you, think about farther-off future you... the one who is wearing those sexy thigh high boots and stopping traffic.
I can relate to what you're saying in terms of my attempts to stop smoking. I'd get gung ho and think, Oh god, what if I'm not this gung ho in three weeks. What if something happens then and I forget how happy I am right now, and I start up again. I almost had to start thinking like a recovering alcoholic for it to stick... one day at a time, one day at a time. And if that gets hard, one hour, one minute, whatever. For someone who likes to look at the big picture and plan ahead, it's annoying, trust me. But I've been off cigarettes for two months now (might not sound too impressive, but for me, it's fantastic).
On the other hand... visualization of future you in a year is pretty crucial. Channel that vixen!
Good luck. I may have replaced my nicotine addiction with your blog... and with Dancing with the Stars, which... cripes! Is on right now!