Weight: 243 - Pounds left to lose: 83
Up a pound this week, but that's pretty much expected. I tend to lose a lot one week, then maintain or gain a small amount for the next two weeks. It all averages out.
Thanks to everyone who commented on my progress pictures! You all are too sweet. Nice to know the Internet isn't full of creeps. There were far too many comments to reply to everyone but one person asked if my boss had said anything yet. The answer is no he hasn't, but I think he's just playing it safe. Can't blame him. Commenting on someone's weight loss can be like walking a minefield. Even if you want to say something complimentary it can explode in your face. He must have noticed by now. If he hasn't, he must have cataracts.
I have also noticed that a certain amount of confidence has started bleeding over into other areas of my life. Like, I used to really hate it when I'd be walking down an aisle in a store and a clerk would ask "Can I help you?" Maybe this is some sort of middle class syndrome, but I feel like I should just do for myself. I went to a grocery store once where they bagged your groceries and actually walked the cart out to your car for you and it freaked me the fuck out. I really hope they didn't expect a tip. This is the Midwest, not New York.
So when someone offered to help me at a store, I used to just mumble "No, thanks" and slump away. Now I find myself acting all chipper and saying "No, thank you" with a little smile on my face. I have the fake friendly but polite act down. I know this is a small thing, but there have been a lot of small things like this lately and they're starting to add up.
I don't think it is so much because of the physical loss either. I weighed this much in high school and was a shrinking violet always hiding behind my bushy hair and huge flannel shirts. I think I just feel very powerful and confident because I decided to make a positive change in my life and actually did it. It's simple to say, but difficult to do. I am She-Ra! By the honor of Grayskull! (Sorry, 80's American cartoon reference. You really don't want to get me started about my She-Ra action figure collection.)
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Posted by PastaQueen on January 21, 2006 at 11:31 AM
I think it's actually better to be unafraid to ask people for help because there have been situations where I can't find something and I didn't want to ask a clerk but really should have. It would save a lot of time, but no, I have to be stubborn and try and find it on my own.
You have people who help you at the grocery store? I'm amazed. If I need help, like when I can't find something, it takes forever to find someone!
My sister was a huge She-Ra fan. She had the castle all the dolls and the horse :)
You should be so proud of yourself. Confidence is definitely about perspective... some people don't have it with so-called "perfect" bodies. I am remembering back to when I had a lot, and it just seemed kind of contagious once it started. Hoping to get back there again.
Oh... on an unrelated not. I hate to nitpick (no, I don't, actually, but it's nice to say I do)... but I think it was by the POWER of Grayskull. And that was He-Man. You've got a major cartoon dork on your hands here.
Keep up the good work! I love your site.
Amy - He-Man did indeed say "By the POWER of Grayskull," but his sister She-Ra said "By the HONOR of Grayskull." I have tapes! I can prove it! :)
LOL - my bad! I never really watched She-Ra, except I vaguely remember something being hidden in each episode that I was never able to find.
I ought to bone up on my 80s cartoons before I go spouting off at the mouth! ;)
OH MY GOD!
OK enough of my babbling, I had a giggle about your boss having cataracts, but I totally understand the whole not wanting to bring it up. Mentioning someone's weight regardless of if it's in a good nature almost always brings about uncomfortableness.
I've never ever been to a shop that bags and carries out your groceries and I probably would have been just as freaked out heh.
OH I did want to ask you, if you exercised and what kind? (please tell me I'm not being daft and show know this by now...)
Hope you have a great weekend!
Is it sad I remember He-man? ( I always had a crush on him- bad guy syndrome or hero syndrome or something) I really dont know how to take it either if someone comments on my weight. I am positive he noticed and is secretly complimenting you. He may start showing it in other ways too. But hey, we all noticed and congrats! PS That up a pound and down a pound is happening here too. Very annoying
I think the confidence is less about the looks and more about the feeling that you have more control.
In New York, grocery stores almost all deliver, because nobody drives. I'm 22, grew up in Manhattan, and still don't know how to drive a car. Terrified of learning.
But yes, you tip the delivery guy. Heh.
I just realized that I made it all the way through your archive! Anyway, I wanted to tell you congratulations—both on a whole lot of weight loss and on a lovely blog. I write more about the emotional side of weight than the weight-loss process, but I'm still in transition myself. About a year and a half ago, I weighed 315. Now I'm about 255. I definitely relate to what you say about relativity—funny that I'm thrilled to weigh what would utterly terrify some of my tiny friends.
"they bagged your groceries and actually walked the cart out to your car for you"
I'd be spooked if that happened, although I think you'd have to actually be in a wheelchair or otherwise incapable of carrying your own before that would happen here.
My boyfriend was actually employed once as the guy who walks the aisles of the supermarket and tells you where things are. That was his whole job - no shelfstacking or anything. (Of course, to begin with HE didn't know where anything was, either, and just had to bluff it!)
I remember He-Man too, and being slightly scared by the character that was just a floating robe and hat with glowing eyes. (Last time I actually saw it, it was dubbed into German and I couldn't for the life of me follow the plot.)
Hey Jennette! I just wanted to stop in and tell you that I read your entire blog in one sitting. You totally rock, girlfriend. I love your writing style and your sense of humor!
We have one store chain here that bags your groceries and takes them out to your car, and they INSIST on doing it. I think they just don't want their carts out in the parking lot getting ripped off!
I do Atkins, and have been thinking about switching to South Beach, and after reading some of the great recipes in your blog, I think I'm gonna go get the South Beach book from the library today.
Keep up all the great work. You are doing so well, and I for one am totally PROUD of you!
I loved She-ra!
Ironic, but a friend of mine had a baby 3 months ago and named her Shira (pronounced She-ra). It means song in hebrew. So I've been trying to hunt down a cool She-ra action figure to give her as a joke.
I grew up on Long Island in New York and no one ever helped us bring the cart to our car. I live in Maryland now and they help you put the bags in your trunk. The first time my mother came to visit she thought the guy was trying to steal our food.
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Okay so I hate to admit it but I am the total opposite....like, if I cannot find something in a store, I will go right up to someone and ask where to find it. But, I think back and I must have been too shy to ask back before I lost weight too; of course I did not want to even go out much, heh.
Around my neck of the woods, the ladies who lunch ALWAYS have the bag boys/girls take their items to the car and load them up....when I see that, I marvel. How fucking lazy does one have to be to not put their own groceries in the car? (no offense to anyone who reads this). I think I suffer from middle class syndrome and always will no matter how much money we have; I just don't feel that it is right for someone to do my dirty work...I am such a freakshow that way!