Tales of horror from the nature trail
Yesterday morning I ran on the trail for 45 minutes. Forty-four minutes of this time was spent thinking, "Yippee! After today and Saturday, I will never have to run 45 minutes again! Except for that half-marathon thingy, of course, which is two and a half hours long, not 45 minutes, so it doesn't technically count."
The other minute of this time was spent thinking, "Holy crap, I just swallowed a bug."
As I began singing that old kid's song about a lady who swallowed a fly, I wondered if this meant I would now have to eat a spider to catch the fly, and then a bird to catch the spider, and then a cat and a dog and a goat. I don't even know where to find a goat in Indiana. And dear Lord, how badly would all this eating wreck my diet?
Luckily, I hadn't actually swallowed the bug, just caught it in my teeth as I was plodding down the trail panting with my mouth open, so I spit it out into my hand. It was green. I sighed (panted?) in relief as I realized it wasn't a bug, just a teeny, tiny leaf like one of several scattered on the trail. No bug-eating for me. I'll get my protein elsewhere.
Earlier: Reading burns calories: The Nonrunner's Marathon Guide for Women
Later: One week, 13.1 miles, 10 gnarly toes
Home: Main index
Posted by PastaQueen on April 25, 2008 at 7:07 AM | Tags: bug, running, trail
You are toooooo funny
If it caught in your teeth, then you must have been smiling as you ran that 45 minutes, right?
Congrats on the nice payoff you are getting from all your hard work over the past few years.
Know how you feel about "almost" eating the bug. I was drinking my coffee on the way to work the other week and got some "solids" at teh bottom of the mug. What I thought was coffee grounds, as I spit it out I realized it was the big fly that I was trying to catch the night before! Guess it likes the Splenda I put in my coffee, and perched in my mug before I put the top on. Lesson learned; never leave you mug unattended for even a minute!
I've only knowingly eaten a bug once. I had a silkworm pupae when I visited S. Korea. I'm sure it was low-cal, but ... ICK.
Okay that totally freaked me out first thing as I'm drinking my coffee. Glad it was just a leaf! I think they should invent some type of running mouth guard to prevent these types of incidents. LOL
When we sang that song I don't think there was a goat in it, but there was a horse. And I just saw an email the other day about a couple of local goats needing rescue... I'd like to have a goat someday to mow the lawn.
Oh too funny. Running at dusk in the spring/summer brings a whole new level of yuck, when you have to pluck bugs from your mouth and eyes and skin.
I got to read a few chapters of your book last night. It's really good stuff, Jennette. Man, you poured your heart out in those early chapters. I can't wait to read more. Needless to say, I'll be reviewing it on my blog and will also review it on Amazon.
Hope you have a great weekend.
That song is going on my list of "songs I didn't realize where disturbing when I was young."
Man, kids will sing anything with a sing-songy voice.
HA! So funny! I hate hate hate bugs and would be horrified if I thought I ate one, I once got in a car accident because of a bug in my car. Yikes!
Do you have "black fly" season in Indiana? You can't be outside for long at this time of year in New England without swallowing a black fly or two. But it still beats staying inside, by a long shot!
Haha, Not quite as funny as licking the cat food sppon but funny enough. I did that riding a bike when I was a kid except i did swallow it. ack
I love to run the trails... but don't love the bug swallowing issue. Its the season too, at least at dusk, to swallow the no-see-um's. Funny to say that I love to run trails... and I do. I started out running them to train for my first half marathon in February (the most fun ever- well, next to losing seventy pounds and adopting kids) - anyway, by the time I ramped up to those longer runs I started to like my littler runs.
Now I run for fun. Its alien to realize I would rather run up to the trailhead, run the trail and head home more than I want to eat an apple fritter with cream filled coffee...
Truly, extraordinary.
PS. Worse than swallowing a bug- finding a tick on your rib cage.. shudder, shudder, shudder.... cringe
Eeew! Oh well...extra protein, right?
Anyway, I've never commented before, but I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed your book. It was totally different than I was expecting...I really liked that it was almost like a collection of essays rather than a "story". You're a smart one, aren't you?
Congratulations on being published, and for writing such an intelligent, funny book. And by the way...I can no longer feed my cat in the absentminded way I used to, because I'm afraid that I'm going to end up sharing his dinner with him.
You are so funny. Congratulations on your running and on your achievements so far.
ick
but it would be cheap protein at that, huH?
way to go!
Got the book yesterday -- I'm loving it!
Ha. When it comes to eating insects by accident, running is not quite so risky as cycling. I bike home along a lovely leafy trail now that it's light enough, and have accidentally ingested several little flying things. And I'm a vegetarian.
I've also had one or two go into my eye, which is no joke when you're speeding along and don't dare take your hands off the handlebars!
Oooh, I can't wait to hear about Saturday's run!!
So glad you didn't have to swallow a goat. I hear the hooves are a little hard on the digestive system.
Hey, it's Brittany from high school! Actually, I just randomly found out that the people down the street from me have a billy goat . . .and I'm in Indiana. You know, if you decide you need one! Hahaha, see you in November at the reunion!
Got the book!! Can't wait to start reading it but first I have to get some snacks. Ha!!
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Very funny, Pastaqueen! Unfortunately, I have swallowed many bugs on my walks. we have these little flies that actually WANT to fly into your mouth, and are quite insistent!
I have gotten your book, and am really enjoying it! Congratulations on being published at 27 years old!!!